The AI I Was Waiting For Was One That Would Invite Me

I would start using AI seriously when it began speaking to me on its own.

That was what I was thinking about four or five years ago.

Instead of merely answering when asked, it would remember my interests and invite me: “You said you were interested in this before, didn't you?” I thought AI might become part of everyday life once it became that kind of presence.

The idea came from an experience with a senior colleague at work.

I Thought Workplace Relationships Were Only About Money

I used to think there was no need to spend my private time with people from work.

Work was work. We were there to earn money, so there was no need to deliberately form personal relationships with the people we happened to work alongside. To put it rather coldly, I thought we were connected only by money.

One senior colleague changed that feeling.

He was good at inviting people out and naturally became the center of the group. He was someone whose invitation made me want to go, someone who took me to enjoyable places I would never have visited on my own.

I am not someone who readily makes the first move. In that sense, I feel he helped me out of something.

Even people brought together by work could become people I enjoyed spending time with. A connection at work did not have to end with money. I learned that through experience rather than reasoning.

Was he also exceptionally capable at his job? Not necessarily. Even so, if he was struggling at work, I wanted to help him.

I was not calculating how to repay his invitations. He had been kind to me, and I wanted to be kind to him too. I came to feel that this was part of what relationships were about.

Starting a Conversation Takes Effort

That experience led me to wonder whether there might be more people who act when invited than people who do the inviting. This was not a conclusion based on counting people, but an impression from observing those around me, including myself.

You may want to talk to someone but be unable to find a reason to approach them. You may be interested in something without going as far as making plans and inviting another person.

I have that tendency too.

The person who starts a conversation finds a topic, considers the other person's interests, and chooses a moment to speak. They take on that initial effort.

I think people who are good at inviting others handle that well.

“You're interested in this, right? So am I. Want to go and see it together?”

They notice your interests and create a natural opening. You can respond to the invitation and get moving.

Of course, being pressured or repeatedly urged to do something you have no interest in is unpleasant. Simply speaking to someone more often is not enough.

Understanding the other person and creating a first step for them—that was the role I hoped AI could play.

I Would Not Have to Prepare a Question First

To use an AI that waits for questions, I first have to think, “What should I ask?” or “What should I request?”

That may be enough for people who already have a goal. But some people would try something if something interesting came along, or would talk if there were an opening. It seems to me that there are quite a few such people.

What if AI approached me and said:

“There's an event coming up nearby. You mentioned being interested in this field before. Would you like to go?”

If it is introducing an event, there is something advertisement-like about it. Even so, if the suggestion truly reflects my interests and our previous conversations, I would not mind it.

What I wanted was not a constant stream of information. It was an opening into a conversation or an activity I would not have started myself.

Perhaps AI could do something like what my senior colleague had done for me. I saw value there that went beyond answering questions.

What If a Voice Also Had a Face?

At the time, I imagined something like a smart speaker evolving until it began speaking to us on its own.

If it also had a face or a visible form, we might perceive it differently: as someone we felt attached to and spoke with, rather than simply a machine that produced a voice.

Still, seeing someone also involves effort.

During video calls, I find myself reading the other person's expression and worrying about my own reactions. There is a kind of fatigue that is different from a voice-only conversation. I do not think giving AI a visible form would automatically make everything easier to discuss.

Even so, I would eventually like AI to pick up my expressions too. For a start, it could simply have a visible form that made it easier to feel attached to it.

It remembers me, understands my interests, and sometimes invites me to do something. If that came with a form I could feel fond of, perhaps many more people would use AI. That was my prediction at the time.

Instead, Its Practical Abilities Drew Me In First

The reason I actually started using AI was a little different.

Its development as a tool was faster than I had expected.

Initially, I thought a major turning point in adoption would come when it became a presence people could feel attached to, one that spoke to them in everyday life.

Before that happened, however, its ability to handle administrative work and tasks on a computer began to look too substantial for me to ignore.

“Could I hand over quite a lot of the work I do on a computer to this?”

As I began to feel that way, I decided I had to give it another proper try. I chose to spend money on using it.

Now I discuss creative work with AI, make prototypes, and even produce blog articles like this one.

I did not wait for every condition I had imagined to be met. Its practical abilities drew me in, and I discovered another kind of enjoyment while using it.

The AI I had been waiting for was one that would invite me.

In practice, the AI I reached for because it seemed capable of taking on work became a “fun toy” first.

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The Dialogue Behind This Article

The following passages were excerpted and edited from an interview for this article. Hesitations and repetition have been removed to make the intended meaning clear.

AI — Asking About the Experience Behind the Idea

In what situations did you feel that there were more people who were invited than people who did the inviting? I'd like to hear an experience that prompted the idea.

Me — About My Senior Colleague

Sometimes there's someone who's good at inviting people and becomes the center of the group. I had a senior colleague who took us to enjoyable places, someone whose invitation made me think, “I'd like to go if he's asking.”

There was a way in which I felt he helped me out. I wasn't the sort of person who would readily take the first step myself.

AI — Exploring What “Helped Me Out” Meant

What changed that made you feel helped by your colleague's invitations?

Me — My View of Workplace Relationships Changed

I thought adult working life was, in the end, a relationship based on work and money. Since it was work, there was no need to socialize with those people privately. I thought we were connected only by money.

He was someone who broke down that feeling a little.

Me — The Role I Expected AI to Play

I think starting a conversation costs more for the person who speaks first. There are lots of people looking for a reason to approach someone. I'm one of them.

I thought perhaps an AI like that could help bring such people out.

Me — Why I Started Earlier Than Expected

Its development as a tool was faster than I expected. Its ability to handle administrative work was so strong. I realized it seemed capable of doing quite a lot of computer work, and I couldn't keep ignoring it. So I spent money and tried it.

You can see the result in the fact that we're making this blog now. For me, it became a “fun toy.”